Day 01 – Wife to the future Seafearer

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Assalammualaikum 

I’ve decided to write how I feel about this whole thing. It is so funny that we have been talking for months that he wanted to return to the sea and I agreed. Honestly I didn’t know what I’ve got myself into… 

So after months, the day was finally here. This morning. I could still feel his presence. I could feel his touch. I could see his eyes and smile. I know his every reaction to everything…

When you are so used to having someone by your side, and when it was time for him to go, suddenly you feel lost. You don’t feel like you want to enter your home anymore cause every single corner reminds you of him. You ate last night dinner which was last done by him. You do not want to enter your bedroom where you can still see in your eyes that he was lying there having his nap and you have to wake him up.

Every single thing. It is hard. Why didn’t anyone tell me it is THIS hard letting go of someone you feel comfortable with, someone whom you really love and still loving him strongly after arguements?

But sad to say, I have to gobble it all in. I have to face the fact that he is doing this for our future. I prayed for him to get his job and yet I am torturing myself?? Make sense ? No? Yea I thought so…

Life still goes on and I have approx 90 days to go on with my days with my children without him… I thank Allah SWT for such technology that can be used now to keep in touch no matter the distance. Alhamdulillah. 

Only to Him I pray for strength and patience. He knows best.

Till my next better piece…. 

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Babbling Words

Faith. Lifestyle. Seafarer's wife. Mother. Children

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