Day 03 – The Weekends

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When I told my close collegues about him off to sailing, they popped the same questions “and you allow him? Can you handle or not? Who is living with you? Later you have another one baby how you going to handle?”

Firstly, if I do not allow him to have this career path, I would be selfish. At the end of the day, he is not doing this for himself. Does he like to be out there, in the middle of the sea, not able to see his family everyday like any other normal family man got a chance to? Does he like waking up worrying about his wife and children but still have to go thru the day working? Does he like sleeping in a small cabin while he have a bed full of love from his wife and children back home?

No. I don’t think so.

Do I like to be stressful with two minions? Do i like to be crying each time I misses him? Do I like sleeping and keep waking up searching for his presence only to realize he wasn’t there?

Nope. Not me~ 

But this is just a LITTLE sacrifice that we have to make and the beginning already says it all. It is difficult, going to be difficult….. Day by day, as days suddenly become mundane. You don’t feel like doing anything. No comedy is making you smile or laugh like it used to. You just living your days in dazed… You hate being alone but all you wanna do is BE ALONE. But ….. deep down you know it is gonna be WORTH IT…. 

Secondly, about handling or manage things, I am used to handle the kids alone, but yes I do need help. I am no superwoman. I have my bad days and good days. But I always have faith that even if i stumble and fall during this process, I will get back up and do it again. My children is my life. Eventho, at times they get into my nerves real bad. People might think I am a bad mom shouting here and there (put yourself into my shoes and tell me if you are not going to shout). But which mother would not love their own children. In Sha Allah, may Allah grant me patience and strength to handle things…

Life is never an easy road, if it is, it’s not called Life….. 

Till my next better piece…. 

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Babbling Words

Faith. Lifestyle. Seafarer's wife. Mother. Children

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