Assalammualaikum Wr Wb…
When you have been pregnant for almost a year and you forgot at times that you are NOT pregnant…
Used to being pregnant…
2012 – firstborn
2016 – thirdborn
Every two years, alhamdulillah. Eventhough they are young and “toddlers being toddlers”, I believe when they grew older together, things will get easier for us both, in sha allah.
When you are occupied with your little ones, you tend to neglect your spouse. What not right, little ones obviously need our attention 24/7. But that was where I was wrong initially. Eventhough our spouse may not say anything or may understand, but who in this world would not want attention?
As a woman and a wife, our spouse is just one individual that needs our attention and love too. I remember I kept falling asleep while putting my secondborn to sleep – who was then a few months old and I just leave my spouse alone most of the time watching TV – even during weekends afternoon. I was too tired and I felt like my secondborn was taking a toll out of me (he is .. still). Until I realized our relationship is growing further. We have nothing to talk about. I can’t remember what makes him say this, but he does said that I don’t gave him attention. And that struck me.
I may excel in being a mom, but what am I as a wife? At the end of the day, my kids are going to grow up, will start a new life, will have their own marriage life and what will I and my spouse be after all that? Will we be as loving as we should be or there won’t be any communication at all? This scares me…..
I grew up seeing my mom neglected my dad. Seeing my mom belittled my dad. My mom may be more educated than my dad at that point of time but I don’t see any respect given to my dad. That’s why we – siblings are more closer to Dad. I do not want history to repeat itself. I even promise myself as young as I was in primary school that I won’t be like Mom.
I promised that I will be friends with my kids. They will be open to me with their problems in life. But as a wife, am I really a friend to my husband when he need me? Sure we share some stories that we don’t share with anyone else. Sure we have our moments together.
I believe how the marriage will turn out is in His Hands, but we need to do something to keep the flame going. Hopefully after my confinement and if he has not gone sailing yet, we have dates, just the two of us.
Being a friend to our spouse is important and less of a work than trying to be “the perfect spouse”. And I remember during our marriage class, he looked at me and said that “he is confident that we can pull through this marriage.” During our first years was tough but alhamdulillah it got better. And I pray for it to be better, aamiin.
My spouse, in this world and the next, who will be the key to Jannah.
Till my next better piece…..