Empty

Assalammualaikum Wr Wb

And today is the day he left… in fact He has left. I did not accompany him to the airport as baby princess was fussy this morning and he have to check-in straight. 

I thought I could control my tears but yesterday, our last night as he hugged me, I could not hold on to it anymore. 

Yes I know he is out there working, but to have this long distance marriage-ship is hard. Do I have to be all tears each time he goes? I believe I will…

I remember when we were dating and we could not meet for about a week or so cause we have our “pantang” before marriage, I cried almost everyday and that is how much I have loved him from the start. I never want to be parted from him. And if Allah SWT were to take him back, as much as I will ‘redha’, I know part of me will be missing.

The house already feel so empty. I am feeling empty. I do not know how to face my boys later without the tears. I know I have to be strong for them. For myself. For him so that he won’t be worried.

The beginning of another phase without him. With 3 kids. Me alone.

How I wish he is still here, lying next to me, watching his movies on his hp. Just pure silence but his presence means alot to me. His presence is my sense of security.

Dear Allah, please grant me patience and understanding when things did not go as planned. Please grant me strength when You give me a test. Please protect my love wherever he will be and keep him close to you. Please protect my children from any harm that I can’t foresee, only You know, ya Allah.

 

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Babbling Words

Faith. Lifestyle. Seafarer's wife. Mother. Children

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