Need A Little More Me

Assalammualaikum Wr Wb,

Pardon me if I am not a good writer. I wrote what I feel, what I experienced and based on what I thought. Language may not be perfect as some blogger. 

But this is mine. so read if you want, understand if you want. If not, then avoid this page.

Past two days, I am able to spend more time with myself… mmmm..  Not doing much of me time actually. First and foremost, I have to do chores before I am back to work this coming Monday. Cleaned up the whole house. Once by noon, I am free. By then I will be lonely and missing my kids. Kinda feel awkward yesterday when I was walking to the supermarket without the princess on my carrier. HAHA.

Princess did well in school, the only problem is that it was difficult to feed her by bottle. But alhamdulillah, after I fetched her in the evening yesterday, managed to feed her about 3 times by bottle without much struggle. So what I conclude – she might not like the taste of my frozen milks. So today, I gave all the fresh ones which I’ve pumped yesterday. Hopefully this works. I am leaving her in school for whole day just like yesterday, so that she knows in the day – no mummy – no direct latch.. =)

Having kids, at times, we need to trial and error. They can’t tell you what they want, what they prefer~  until like the age of 3-4, whereby they can at least have a proper conversation with you. Sometimes we have to change numerous bottles to see whether the baby can suckle on it. We have to try different food at 6 months of age, for a  3 days rule to see whether the baby is allergy to anything. So yea.. really hoping for good news later… 

So today is the last weekday of my materniy leave. I am back to tough routine this coming Monday.

“Ya Allah, please grant me patience and strength everyday. I really need it .”

I realized that my eldest is trying real hard to get my attention. He would call me numerous time asking me to watch the show which I turn on for them. Like I turn on the movie “CARS” for them and he would go on “mama look, car.. mama look car..” and I will be busy with the princess, all I could reply was “yeah… ” I have to admit , I do get annoyed cause I was busy aiding to princess, princess was crying and him calling me numerously… You do the imagination on how chaotic everyday is…

It’s hard and it does hurt me that I can’t divide my time with them as I need to attend to princess’s needs first.. The one whom was born first, gets the attention last. =(

Every night, I have to put princess to sleep first, then sleep beside secondborn and pretend to sleep so that he will dozed off – lastly to my eldest. He always have to wait for me to kiss and hug him to sleep before he really sleep. On good days, we would talk for a while.

I hate the feeling that I have been neglecting my two boys. Cause I can’t sit down with them to play, I can’t “fight” with them when they want to play fight. I can’t sit down for a minute to only stand the next second to do something. There is always something to do and I am not talking about chores – that~ can wait.

If MR is around, he would be entertaining the boys while I attend to princess. Oh~~ talking about MR, how I miss him.. the days pass quite slow as I felt like it’s been months since he went away. 

But then – c’mon it’s JUNE already !! The year does pass quickly, we are already halfway in 2016…

End of June is secondborn 2nd birthday, time to start planning what should I do for his birthday.

So how was my first half of my year 2016:

  • surpised my Hubby’s comeback
  • experienced waterbag burst for the first time
  • endured labour pain for 8 whole hours without any painkiller
  • gave birth to a beautiful princess

And now cheers to end of maternity leave *cheers*. Me and princess have done well together. and also cheers to 3 months of breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding is hard, when you have to feed and at the same time entertaining two toddlers. But alhamdullillah, He have grant me patience.

But this time around, my aim to be 2 yrs in sha allah… but if happen that my rezeki stop at 6 months – at least it is not that bad…

To another half a year of 2016… 

Till my next better piece… 

 

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Babbling Words

Faith. Lifestyle. Seafarer's wife. Mother. Children

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