Blessed Journey

Assalammualaikum everyone

Today is sucha good morning with heavy downpours but it wasn’t that good because.. I got splashed by oncoming vehicles.

Yeap! But lucky me I wasn’t that drenched…

Moving on, it’s a Monday morning. I was tired for the weekend and was struck by the migraine yesterday and the boys had to test my patience. BUT… it’s all good now…

I went on a date with Minion 1 since this Sunday I do not need to handover to his dad. We just went out to run some of my errands – TT money to my supplier and mails all the packages to my customers. After that, we went for an ice cream and walked around a little bit and head home. 

I am trying my best to make time individually to all three – well I date Minion 3 the most cause we are still on this blessed journey of breastfeeding. IT IS HARD… I never knew I could make it this far but I did anyway.. Alhamdulillah for the rezeki that is bestowed upon me to provide for my Minion 3. 

So it is my usual routine to pump whenever I am at work – I have cut down from 3 to 2 pumping session as I literally have no time to pump since work compiled. And direct latch whenever I am home and when I am out with her… 

Waking up is hard because I will wake up to body aches, muscle cramps and … still ongoing latching baby (like she is taking forever). Everyday is a struggle but it is a blessing. I’ve always wanted to make it to 2 years if she behaved by not biting me…. hee

AND AND… speaking about biting, finally there is two growth of teeth on her gum. But no… alhamdulillah~ I did not get any biting from her, only pinching while latching and it is equivalent to biting.

SERIOUSLY IT HURTS!!

By the way, I was on course for the whole week of last week and there is no fridge or anything to store my milk. I had to cut down to only 1 pumping session during lunch, had to ask permission from the admin office every time. Pumping session with freemie cups will be longer than usual bottles because of the suction. So usually my pumping session will be 20 – 30 mins. Then I have about 15 mins to eat my lunch – good thing that I am a fast eater. And head back to class.

Had to rush home cause am afraid for the ice packs to melt. But so far so good, had dinner with 2 of my friends and it lasted but nearing melting. As long as my milk is still on a chill temperature, it was fine.

People were telling me “yea.. that’s hard about breastfeeding – you have to consider in so many things – like where to pump, how to store, you have to carry alot of bags.. etc”

But to me, I just have to manage my time. I have to calculate from what time did I took out my icepacks and until when it will last. I just lump my things in my big Anello bags and I am good to go. Because I hate carrying too many bags (except for shopping bags… hee)

So for upcoming breastfeeding mums – just don’t think too much. Everywhere you go just carry this of things and you are good for the day :- 

  • your pump
  • milk bags (very important as I am one of those forgetful moms)
  • bottles/freemie cups
  • nursing cover (in case for desperate measures – it comes in handy)
  • water bottle (drink up babes!)

And you can go to Carousell or Qoo10 to look for Anello Bags which comes in handy. When I go to work, I used Vcool Cooler Bag (as per picture) which is separated from my handbags. But whenever I go to other places, I would just use my mini Munchkin cooler bag which can be placed inside my Anello Bags (as per picture)

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And you can see my Anello backpack at the back ..

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(Yeap, me and nursing rooms are inseparable – for now….  )

And you can’t actually tell that I am pumping cause I am using Freemie Cups. It is good for outdoor pumping and on desk pumping for working mums. Here’s the link which you can check it out if you consider on it:

https://www.google.com.sg/search?q=freemie+collection+cup&biw=1366&bih=638&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi6uayhttfRAhVDtY8KHeIuAQ8Q_AUICCgB#imgrc=lh6iQVFcTwErAM%3A

So braced yourself, mummies and enjoy this journey while you can… and mind if I tell you, every baby is different. Not all can direct latched once they are out from the belly. So.. don’t be too hard on yourself – cause I have come across some moms that are hard on themselves and they feel useless… which is nuisance to me. 

I can’t breastfeed my Minion 2 because he was difficult to manage and keep unlatching himself which got me frustrated. It takes alot of patience which I admit that I do not have it in me that point of time. So to each of it’s own ya… 😉

Anyhoos – for those who are still on this journey, be proud of yourself – cause I know I am. I chose not to look at the quantity but on the quality of it.

Jia You !

Till my next better piece….

 

Xoxo

 

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O.K.A.Y

Assalammualaikum Wr Wb,

Alhamdulillah for the 3rd week of ramadhan as it’s nearing  passing by.. the previous week has been challenging for me as princess was down with fever, flu and cough. 

Yeap you can say that again – all three. I don’t even know until Monday when I was sending her to school , her temperature rise up and we had to be sent home. I had to take leave for three days. 

It is tough being a full time working mom, you have to juggle between your work, your children and the chores. I was practically exerting myself to the level which I would just curl up at the corner and cry. So I decided to get a helper. It was a tough decision as I need to depend on someone cause I never really depend on anyone before. I always thought I have to do all this alone but in the end I raise up my hands and cried to him.. But I guess He was answering my prayers. He wants me to have a little bit of a time for myself. To re-collect myself as a person cause I was being this haggard person who was just living life on a routine. I was too tired to do anything else. I was rushing to get things done before the night ends.

I have been thru so much since I became a mother and I guess I just have to give this lil credit and pat on my own back and said “it is okay not to be okay~, it is okay to ask for help”

Whilst I was making a decision whether to hire the helper or not, someone told me “you boleh nampak gagah je tau wati, but I know you are tired. I know cause I have been thru what you’ve been thru..” and this got me wonder…

Was I just pretending to be strong infront of others – to show that I can handle everything whilst my husband was away? Honestly I don’t know. At times I feel disappointed at myself that I need to get “help” but at the same time I do NEED help… 

After having the helper for close to a week now, I can say I have more time with my toddler boys. Hayden has been non-stop asking me to play with him which now – I don’t feel guilty rejecting him. I can have a “fight” play with him just like how my husband used to play with him. And to see him laugh that hard after so long, only He knows what I felt at that point of time. The boys would cuddle with me and I would lie down with them. All this when chores being handled as I no need to be at the kitchen all the time and left them alone. All this when princess is asleep. I managed to entertain all three at once without worrying about chores. And the feeling was… 

BLESSED. I’m able to feel blessed all over again and I appreciate being home – I appreciate my home now..

I thank Allah for the help He has given me and I will never stop praying for a helper who would be sincerely working with me and would take care of my home and kids like her own. Alhamdulillah….

Trust not completely but it is important to have faith…. I trust in Allah SWT and I trust in doing good… He will answer your prayers if you put your trust in Him 100%…

Till my next “better” piece…

Need A Little More Me

Assalammualaikum Wr Wb,

Pardon me if I am not a good writer. I wrote what I feel, what I experienced and based on what I thought. Language may not be perfect as some blogger. 

But this is mine. so read if you want, understand if you want. If not, then avoid this page.

Past two days, I am able to spend more time with myself… mmmm..  Not doing much of me time actually. First and foremost, I have to do chores before I am back to work this coming Monday. Cleaned up the whole house. Once by noon, I am free. By then I will be lonely and missing my kids. Kinda feel awkward yesterday when I was walking to the supermarket without the princess on my carrier. HAHA.

Princess did well in school, the only problem is that it was difficult to feed her by bottle. But alhamdulillah, after I fetched her in the evening yesterday, managed to feed her about 3 times by bottle without much struggle. So what I conclude – she might not like the taste of my frozen milks. So today, I gave all the fresh ones which I’ve pumped yesterday. Hopefully this works. I am leaving her in school for whole day just like yesterday, so that she knows in the day – no mummy – no direct latch.. =)

Having kids, at times, we need to trial and error. They can’t tell you what they want, what they prefer~  until like the age of 3-4, whereby they can at least have a proper conversation with you. Sometimes we have to change numerous bottles to see whether the baby can suckle on it. We have to try different food at 6 months of age, for a  3 days rule to see whether the baby is allergy to anything. So yea.. really hoping for good news later… 

So today is the last weekday of my materniy leave. I am back to tough routine this coming Monday.

“Ya Allah, please grant me patience and strength everyday. I really need it .”

I realized that my eldest is trying real hard to get my attention. He would call me numerous time asking me to watch the show which I turn on for them. Like I turn on the movie “CARS” for them and he would go on “mama look, car.. mama look car..” and I will be busy with the princess, all I could reply was “yeah… ” I have to admit , I do get annoyed cause I was busy aiding to princess, princess was crying and him calling me numerously… You do the imagination on how chaotic everyday is…

It’s hard and it does hurt me that I can’t divide my time with them as I need to attend to princess’s needs first.. The one whom was born first, gets the attention last. =(

Every night, I have to put princess to sleep first, then sleep beside secondborn and pretend to sleep so that he will dozed off – lastly to my eldest. He always have to wait for me to kiss and hug him to sleep before he really sleep. On good days, we would talk for a while.

I hate the feeling that I have been neglecting my two boys. Cause I can’t sit down with them to play, I can’t “fight” with them when they want to play fight. I can’t sit down for a minute to only stand the next second to do something. There is always something to do and I am not talking about chores – that~ can wait.

If MR is around, he would be entertaining the boys while I attend to princess. Oh~~ talking about MR, how I miss him.. the days pass quite slow as I felt like it’s been months since he went away. 

But then – c’mon it’s JUNE already !! The year does pass quickly, we are already halfway in 2016…

End of June is secondborn 2nd birthday, time to start planning what should I do for his birthday.

So how was my first half of my year 2016:

  • surpised my Hubby’s comeback
  • experienced waterbag burst for the first time
  • endured labour pain for 8 whole hours without any painkiller
  • gave birth to a beautiful princess

And now cheers to end of maternity leave *cheers*. Me and princess have done well together. and also cheers to 3 months of breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding is hard, when you have to feed and at the same time entertaining two toddlers. But alhamdullillah, He have grant me patience.

But this time around, my aim to be 2 yrs in sha allah… but if happen that my rezeki stop at 6 months – at least it is not that bad…

To another half a year of 2016… 

Till my next better piece… 

 

Everyday is Mother’s Day, they say ~

Assalammualaikum Wr Wb

So today, 8th of May, is a day for all mothers out there. And at times, I forgot that I fall into a category of celebrating Mother’s Day.

My first time being a mother, it was not really appreciated – at that point of time. I do “celebrate” it, but it was just a sake of being “present” as I got nothing better or no where else to go. Since then, I never really have a Mother’s Day.

And, I never really have that day with my mother. At times, I wonder what went wrong. I really do envy daughters who have a very good relationship with their moms. The voice inside me tells me I am missing something. 

My mom –  was a career woman. A career woman that we grew up seeing her in the morning and at night.A career woman that we only find her on the phone everytime she is at home. A career woman that we have to follow with to viewing of flats for sale with client before we get to our real family dinner. A career woman whom me, as a daughter finds difficulty in sharing my views and thought. 

I find it hard to  be open with her, till now. Whatever she does, I will opposed.I dunno – maybe there is a big gap in our mother-daughter relationship.

We all know –  a mother will always be a mother, no matter what she did in the past, no matter how she was with us.

I just wish, I can forgive her at times…..

Nonetheless, I am a mother of three now and I have a daughter. What I promised myself when I was 11 – to be a friend in need to my kids, to spent time with them no matter how busy i am with my work. Importantly, to be there for them….

In sha allah

Till my next better piece… 

Back to the Week

Assalammualaikum Wr Wb,

A thought just came to me- you will never have a quiet morning once you have children and to enjoy quiet morning like NOW….. feels so good.. I hope it lasts…hehehe

We had a good weekend with the humid weather…

On Saturday, woke up early before anyone does to have a quick shower and prepare the children’s stuff to go out for princess circumcision!!! Yay, it was done. Alhamdulillah, everything went well. Came to the clinic a little bit later and it was already packed with people. Husband went to park the vehicle while I make the “grand entrance” to the clinic with 2 active toddlers and baby.

The boys were all over the place and the clinic was a small one. So while waiting for registration, I was going “hayden no, don’t stand at the door, adam please, come stand here , hayden stand here *within seconds he went for the door again*, hayden no, come here please”. I was making a twirl of full circles cause a minute they were at my front, another they would be at my back. And I could feel eyes piercing at me, observing me on how I am handling the boys with the baby. BUT…. I don’t care… LOL. 

One nenek sitting asked me “are they your kids?” With a smile, I said proudly, yes they are…

As much as I would like to get rid of them someday – okay.. joking.. I won’t… hehe… they are still my blessings. So we waited for 2 hours. Went for lunch, came back and then waited a little bit more. But the doctor was such a warm person, did the circumcision professionally and also we decided to pierced her ears. Oh Boy , I was scared just looking at the gun.. I know I can endure pain and I pierced a lot more than I should before, but with my girl, I go all jelly… Boy did she cried.. but she is strong, it was only for a while. After which, she went back to sleep and wasn’t cranky. Alhamdulillah.

Yesterday we just went to Suntec for late lunch and hang around, played some arcade games and went to Big Box to look for a storage for the boy’s toys actually but we could not find the right one. I ended up buying a new shoe for myself. And the rest of the night went well… Alhamdulillah.

Today I was planning to go to the Zoo, but I guess from the weekend outing I needed a little bit more rest in the morning. Send the boys to school and put princess to sleep, VOILA, here I am just finished my breakfast and typing….

I am supposed to design something for princess’s cukur rambut berkat but I am not inspired yet hence no ideas what I want to do… Everything is almost settled. Initially from wanting to order catering and berkat, in the end, my in-laws will be cooking – love love love their cooking, they cooked for our wedding and received alot of compliments and also will be doing some DIY berkat for the guest. Nothing special. A simple one. Left a few days more for the big event.

Updates on my husband’s sailing schedule, this time around he was given heads up that he will be signing on to the vessel on the first week of May. Which means in a week or two. We will be missing ramadhan and hari raya for this year. And he will also missed Hayden’s 2nd Bday.=(

Some things are not meant for us to control…

So this week is going to be a busy one, May Allah ease our affairs.

Till my next better piece…

A month ago….

Assalammualaikum Wr Wb,

I have typed quite a story about my labour but I remembered that I’ve given snippets of it before and I don’t wish to repeat myself.

So…. a month ago, this little angel is born.

I named her Herra Ameera Binte Idris.

Herra = Beautiful

Ameera = Princess

So sad that I could not find any reference to have Herra spell in Jawi as it is not an Arab word. But as long as it has a meaning behind it. 

I noticed, with her, I am more protective. I get quite uptight if I saw pictures of her posted on social media by other family members except for my husband – but obviously I could not do anything. I don’t post about her that much unlike what I have done with her brothers (or maybe I am not into posting on social media that much now)

Me and my in laws is busy planning for her Majlis Cukur Rambut which will take place on 01st May 2016, in sha allah. So excited… never done this for the boys before… 

In Sha Allah everything will go as planned… 

As for now, as time passed unknowingly, princess is already a month.

May she grow to be a beautiful person, inside out.. aamiin

Till my next better piece….

Expectation

Assalammualaikum Wr Wb,

I have been meaning to write something but always end up doing other things which left me with no time to write once the boys is back. I felt like I have been unproductive since I started my maternity leave.

Wake up when the boys wakes up, pack the boys’s school bags, ate breakfast, nurse princess – if she does not fall asleep I would shower her, nurse her again if she wants. When she sleeps (always praying she would sleep a little longer) – I would cook, have my lunch, nurse her, put her to sleep and I would end up sleeping as well or watching some videos to keep me entertained (in the end I would regret this, should have taken a nap as well). And the rest of the day is just resting and nursing.

Nursing – or people know it as breastfeeding, takes a lot of you. Not to mention that automatically 500-700 calories is burn, you get tired and dehydrated. Every 2-3 hours throughout the day. So I guess, I am NOT ALL unproductive since I am providing the best for the princess. Alhamdulillah, she has been latching well. But I hate it during growth spurt (like the past few days). She would feed and vomit. And this continues for a few days. She will sleep lesser, always wanna be on top of me or cuddle. So…. growth spurt will last for a year I guess…. can’t run away from it…oh wells…..

Okay.. enough with the babbling..

The other day, my Eldest Adam was watching youtube on the ipad and he said he wants to watch “Mcqueen” – a character from the movie Cars. So I was busy nursing the princess and I told him, okay you press for me “C”and he literally showed me all the wrong letters.

He is upcoming 4 years old, honestly as a mom, I am more laidback and I don’t push my children in doing anything. I don’t join the “oh my child can potty train at age of 1 years old” or “oh my child can already speak simple words when he/she at age 1 yr and a half”. club of mummies.

I believe that every child has their own abilities and capabilities. They have their own pace too. Adam’s words were not that clear when he was 2. But of course as a Mom, I do understand him and I repeat using the correct words so he will know. My secondborn, Hayden, can already speak clear words (ATLEAST) at the age of upcoming 2 now.So every child is different. The difference is that Hayden was in school earlier than Adam. Initially Adam was in school but I have to pull him out as I was shifting to my in-laws. And he was looked after by our neighbour for a year. And when we finally got a place of our own, both of them join the new school.

Okay, so back to where I was….

I got SHOCKED that he does not recognize the alphabets. Shocked, sad, angry & confused. Like ~ doesn’t he learnt anything from school? He is in Nursery, shouldn’t they be more focused on teaching the children alphabets, phonics or whatever it is they called it nowadays. So I feedback to the husband about this. I am really really worried that I started to think is it me not giving him attention or is it himself? So I did raised my concern to the mummies forum/page. They said it’s normal and I should give him time…

So now I am trying to embrace myself in this new thing. THIS will be the next phase of me being a mom. Where knowledge and disciplinary comes from home, instead of letting go everything to the school. Obviously I could not remember at which age I recognized alphabets and numbers, but I do know my parents would stick the Alphabets & Numerical board on my room wall, which I would see it EVERYDAY, which also will lead me to memorizing. (Believe me, I am still bad at maths). So as a parent now, I shall not push them (which my parents does not do it to us siblings and we turned out well) but I would do my part as a parents.

No IPAD for Adam except for weekends. Hayden ~ a leeway for him as of now, but once he reached the same age as his brother, we will start educating him. Already bought magnetic alphabets and a exercise book for Adam.

I guess now to start of our new schedule, I should discipline MYSELF first in getting him to settle down and concentrate maybe say ~ twice a week, and also not to lose my short temper if he does not get it – in this way he won’t get anything in his head and I will be wasting my time and energy.

My expectation for my children is not that high. For this stage, recognizing the letters is important so he won’t be left behind if he starts K1 next year. As a parents, I would want things to be easy for my children. Let them struggle now, but we really do need to TRAIN their BRAIN.

May Allah SWT make it easy for us parents.

Till my next better piece…..